Falling off the wagon

Been super busy so I have not had a chance to keep up to date.  The last few days have been pretty tough for me.  Saturday my dear husband took me to Uncle Julio's, my favorite place on earth.  Sunday was not too bad but Monday I think shot the whole month for me.  Went to Babe's and had some yummy smoked chicken and went to watch the Rangers.  Of course I thought I had to have nachos which I did.  I regret that decision now!  I have been going to the gym though but I still feel like I am not doing enough.

Planning my son's 5th birthday party is driving me insane but it's his 5th so it has to be a big one! 

National Junk Food Day

I hear it's National Junk Food Day.  Well, not for me.  If I start the ball rolling it will just keep heading downhill and I can't food it this week.

I feel like I am at a stand still.  The numbers on the scale are staying the same but the pants I bought just over a month ago are getting way too loose.  Maybe I am loosing inches and gaining muscle from working out??  I have come to enjoy working out.  It makes me feel so much better plus I get to watch an "adult" movie without any interruptions. 

I so can't wait to fit in to my Ralph Lauren collection that I have hung on to.  I don't care if any of it is out of season.  I'm not a shopper.  I hate going to the mall but it looks like it's almost time to go again. 

Give Me Strength!!!

I lost over 80 pounds, about 15 years ago, with the help of prescription drugs.  These are no longer available thanks to the FDA.  It seemed so easy to loose.  I really didn't think much about eating at all.  Now that I am doing this on my own without surgery or drugs it just seems 10 time harder.  All I do is think about food!  Why is food so freaking important to me???  It doesn't help that every other show on TV is about food.  Am I right or does it just seem that way??

Had a Fiber One bar for breakfast, LC Philly-Cheese steak Pinni for lunch and I plan to have left over Turkey Taco Salad for dinner.  I hope to stay away from the popcorn Dale can't seem to live without.  It calls to me every night in the form of a 4 year old.  Gone are the days of eating whatever I wanted. 

I have been going to they gym everyday after work but I feel like I need to step it up a bit.  Looking forward to getting my new gym bag.  Sad what I look forward to these days!

Smoking was easier to quit!

Cheese is the devil. It was easier for me to stop smoking than it is giving up cheese! Had the pleasure of having lunch with a few co-workers that I don't see much anymore. One said to me that I was going to waste away. Really??? 280 lbs. I am FAR from wasting away but I did like the ackowledgement that I have lost. For lunch we went to Macaroni Grill. I had a yummy warm spinach salad with lemon juice and shrimp.

Yesterday Hank came to visit. This is the time I crave salt the most. I feel like a bloated cow and it didn't help that my son told me I was too old to run.

Oh How I Love Mondays!

So the weekend was not too bad.  I did take my mom out for her birthday but I had a chicken sandwich minus the bread.  The fries sucked so I was not too interested in eating those.  I did however have fried pickles and a few fried mushrooms.  I was so full from lunch that we did not want anything for dinner.

Yesterday we went to Outback Steakhouse where I did so much better.  6 oz steak and some shrimp.  Grilled tomatoes with basil.  To celebrate the 3 pounds I lost during the week I had a dessert sampler with my hubby.  I will have to work extra hard tonight when I work out.

I am feeling pretty good about this week!  As of today I am down 3 more pounds.  I am working hard towards my goal set for next June when we take Avery to Disney.  I can't wait to ride the rides!

So it's back to work and back to my routine.

280.2

I Hate Weekends

Most people in their right mind look forward to the weekends.  Me, I do not look forward to them at all for one simple reason and that is I have 48 hours to wonder what I am going to eat next.

It's simply too hot outside to do anything such as bike, walk, fish, etc...  So I sit around the house catching up with my hubby and torture myself by watching the Food Network.  If I were not dieting I would care less about that damn channel. 

It's really hard for me not to cheat on the weekends when my hubby and son can eat pretty much what they want.  Me, I have already eaten a bag of popcorn tonight and I still have 2 days go before getting back to work and keeping myself busy.  Wish me luck this weekend!

You Must Have WLS If You Want To Lose Weight

These are the exact words my doctor said to me when I told her my insurance company had denied paying for weight loss surgery.  Those are also the words that lit the fire under my ass to prover her wrong!  I had jumped through hoops for 6 months last year thinking I was going to have the surgery at the end of the year and I could celebrate my "new" birthday.  Wrong!  6 months of doctor appointments, a "supervised" diet and having a scope shoved down my throat was all for nothing.  After months of feeling sorry for myself I finally got the courage to take on this journey with the help and encouragement of my great friend Crissy who I work with.  I have the support I need from her every day.  I do still struggle with my food addiction and I probably always will but I can beat that addiction with the support of my friends and family.  Low fat Mexican food wouldn't hurt either lol!

283.2

Three little numbers

310.  This is a number I never in my wildest dreams thought I would see on a scale but there it was staring me in the face.  How on earth did this happen?  For the past 3 years I have done nothing but blame it on my pregnancy and the stress of being a "single" mother during the week while my husband is out on the road trying to provide for his family.  I came to realization in May that it was neither of these things.  It was all me and only I can do something about it.  I am doing this so I can look back through my struggles with depression, addiction and obesity.  I have lost almost 40 pounds since January leaving me over 100 pounds to go.  It will be a roller coaster of a ride so hang on here we go...